Nichole’s Slices Of Life, 10

5 04 2009

What a week!  I finished up my assignment as substitute librarian at one of our elementary schools.  Since there was testing in the library this week –I took my lessons to the classrooms.  K-3 got their lessons via the internet which was then projected onto a special screen called a “Smart Board”.  The librarian has the most wonderful website that offers the viewing of  books in animation.  These books are hard copy printed books that have been put into animation form.  I was fasinated with this website and had fun using the material.  I hoped to subscribe at home to this website but found out it is only available to schools.  I’m like a child at heart when it comes to children’s literature.  I love it.  My 4th and 5th graders had to complete worksheets about Kentucky.  I was expected to grade them.  I graded quite a few papers–something I’m not used to doing.  All in all–it   was a wonderful experience of being the librarian.  An added bonus was the many hugs I received from students.   It was an 8 day assignment.

On the homefront–my husband didn’t have a great week.  He tried raking up some of the many sticks in our yard and ended up in bed all the next day.  I used to have him make our bed and do a little housework for me.  He is no longer able to do those simple tasks.  Anything that involves arm movement seems to put him in bed.  He is still able to enjoy working at the computer.  I struggled so much this week –just knowing how Jim seems to get more limited in what he can accomplish each day.  It has taken a toll on me.  By Friday, I was in a depression.  Not the kind that lands one in bed but just the kind where one just doesn’t have much desire to interact with others or do the activities that one usually enjoys.  It is kind of like feeling like a stone.  One one hand–I did enjoy my work week.  On the other hand–I felt a deep heaviness inside about my husband’s failing health.  When Jim is feeling better–he gets mad at me for being protective of him.  I’m caught in a hard place. 

We are already discussing whether he should attend Holy Pascha in a couple of weeks.  I’ve made the comitment to sing in the choir.  I have a ton of music to learn in a short time.  Yet I struggle whether we should even attend.  For you see– the service doesn’t even start until 10:00 p.m. and we won’t get home until the wee hours of the morning.  Can Jim endure such a service?  I don’t know.  It is tough for me to make that decision. 

We have spring break this coming week.  I will be busy caring for our grandson’s the first 3 days of the week.  I told my daughter that I wanted Thursday and Friday off.  Wednesday afternoon we are leaving for an overnight stay at one of our state parks.  This is a gift from our daughter, Vera.  Friday –I’m to rehearse Pascha music in Clarksville most of the day.  It will be nice to have a break from teaching.

Life goes on.  I’m sure that I will have the wisdom needed for each new day.  I will just take it one day at a time with Jim.  I mentioned last week that I could only give myself a C for thankfulness. I’m still on the C level but  I know this fact for sure– I don’t blame God for any of the difficulties that we face.  I am not bitter.  I’m merely exhausted and tired.  God know these things–His compassions are tender to me.  I’m very thankful to know this–first hand.  I did have one situation of compassion that has touched me greatly.

One of the members of our cancer group insisted on doing my grocery shopping this week.  She is a retired teacher and loves to find a bargain.  I gave her my list at our weekly cancer meeting.  She threw in many of my items for free–for she had extras at her home.  I wrote her a check when she delivered my groceries.  She said that she wants to continue doing this for me.  What a generous soul she is.  I’m very grateful for her help.

So I am thankful for God’s tender mercies to our family.  I will check back in with each of you next Sunday evening.  Have a great week!

God bless each of you!

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2 responses

12 04 2009
shadowlands1501

Dear Nicole,

Yes, those tender mercies are given when we need them most. I find that they come when the stone feels heavier than most other times.

I understand about being concerned when you see Jim loose ground. I had a barometer inside of me. When I saw Dan become too tired, I, too, became very protective. I finally realized that if Dan wanted or thought he could make the trip or endure the physical difficulties, I had to let him try. He was wanting to live his life no matter how hard it was on his health…

Nicole, God will give you Wisdom. You will know when it is beyond “his good”. Save those battles for when they are the most needed…at least, that is what I learned…

Glad you enjoyed the library. I think that it would be a good fit for you should a permanent position ever arise.

I miss going to preschool. The little one that I went with has a new agency and I don’t get to go. Funny, I never thought that I would miss riding the bus, but I truly miss my little 3 year old and helping her discover her colors and shapes…I will always have a teachers heart…

Hope next week is good for you…

Your friend,
Shadowlands

13 04 2009
nichole3

Dear Shadowlands,
You have pioneered the way before me and I count your words as “great widsom”. I will try to relax a little more and just be. Thank you for your concern.

I’m sorry you lost that contract with your little one. I hope you are getting enough work to meet your needs.

You are ever in my prayers.

Your friend,
Nichole

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