The Cancer Ward And A New Goal!

18 06 2008

The cancer ward is getting easier to visit.  I remember my first visit in December of 2007.  I was in partial denial that I really had cancer.  That was the initial visit where one meets the oncologist.  He explained to me more about breast cancer and told me he would see me a couple of weeks after surgery.

Those first two visits after surgery were confusing.  They had never received the report about whether my cancer was estrogen or progesterone fed.  I had to wait all morning to see the oncologist for one of those inital appointments.  Finally, the information was obtained.  I was put on a treatment plan of oral  chemotherapy.  I was to come back in a month and get my first blood work.  That was in March.  Everything was great and my next appointment was booked for June. 

Those early months in the cancer ward haunted me.  I just couldn’t take the environment.  However, this past Friday–I thought nothing of it.  I just walked right into the cancer ward–signed my name and sat down.  I was delighted to see one of my buddies from our cancer support group.  We just laughed and talked until she was called in first.

Finally I was called.  I call it the “cattle call”.  Three of us are called at a time.  We each stand on the scale and then  sit down in a little cubicle of three chairs.  After the nurse writes down our weight–she then begins to take our temperature and our blood pressure.  One by one –we are released to the lab to get blood work.  I was freaked out those first few times of being part of the “cattle call.”  This time I was relaxed.  My weight is not what I would like it to be.  However, I have stayed about the same weight for three years.  A little light bulb went on in my head….

I’m a fairly active person.  I walk each morning at 5:30 a.m. I’m always up and down the basement stairs doing laundry.  I take care of two active little grandsons two days a week.  So what is the problem with my weight?  I’m still eating too much.  I have told others that I must have a slow metabalism.  The truth is that I take too many second servings.  I’m generally not a person who eats inbetween meals. However, I eat like a horse at my meals.  So the little light bulb went on in my brain that if I would just eat three modest meals a day and stay as active as I am–I’m eventually going to lose weight.

Now that information is not new to me.  I know the scientific facts.  But scientific facts don’t always mix with denial.  So my goal is to lose 10 pounds by September the 19th.  That is when I visit the cancer ward again and the next cattle call will come.  I’m on my third day.  I ‘m feeling a little sorry for myself.  But somehow I think I will make it this time.  After losing 10 pounds–I’ll set another goal.

The cancer doctor gave me goods news that so far my blood work is fine.  I’m no longer afraid of the cancer ward.  I now have many friends who are cancer patients.  Finally, I’m going to get this weight off.  I wrote in my daily log–Eat less–move more!

God bless each of you!

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4 responses

19 06 2008
shadowlands1501

Nicole3,
Thanks for sharing how it is to be a part of a cancer clinic. It is a different world that takes getting used to. It sounds like you have made a good transition and there are those who look forward to seeing you come in.
It took a lot of mental adjustments to accept that we were a part of that cattle call…everyone is equal at the cancer clinic. Each has heard the same words that you have. Each has had to look at their life from a possible ending perspective. It is a community that no one thinks that they will become a member, but once you develop the disease, there is no question as far as getting into the organization…
Congrats on doing so well. Your milestones are clicking by without much trouble. Every good report is a milestone and a reason to give thanks and Rejoice…
Your friend
Shadowlands

20 06 2008
nichole3

Shadowlands,
I think back to last summer and I would never have guessed that I would ever have to face cancer. Our cancer clinic is on the main floor of a doctor’s building that has so many different kinds of doctors. Through the years–I’ve looked at the doors of that clinic and thought how sorry I felt for those who were patients. I’m getting used to the “cattle call”–and developing more compassion for those who don’t receive good reports. May God have Mercy on all who suffer from cancer.

Your friend,
Nichole

8 07 2008
Roads

Eat less-move more! That’s great advice, Nichole, and I wish I could keep to it, too.

Sometimes it takes a new number to appear on the dial of the scales to spur me into action, as happened just recently. And to be honest, I’ve seen too many new numbers come and go, over the years.

Like you, I don’t snack much between meals. But a colleague did christen me ‘The Hungry Horse’ one mealtime in the works canteen, and the effects are more permanent than I would like.

So it’s back to the hills at lunchtime today. And that’s a promise.

8 07 2008
nichole3

Roads,
It is much harder than I thought it would be. Especially with all the birthday celebrations and potlucks that I’ve been attending. I’m still working at it but have back slid a little. Your note is an encouragement to keep trying.

Thanks,
Nichole

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