Life And The Ever Present Moment

26 01 2008

As I was writing my series on my experiences with the Mennonite women, I realized what rich nostalgia came out of just daily living.  That was the way I chose to spend one season of my life.  I never contemplated having a blog and writing about those experiences.  That’s the beauty of living one’s life as fully as possible.  That is why I always try to not underestimate any given day–no matter how uneventful it may seem.

Having just finished the series on the Mennonites on Thursday–lo, and behold Maria calls me Thursday evening telling me she has a surprise for me.  A mennonite couple had asked Maria to drive them into town for several errands.  This couple’s twelve children are all grown and live in another part of Kentucky.  Maria has gotten to know them  this past year.  Surprise! Into my living room walks Maria and this Mennonite woman.  Maria had dropped the husband off on another erand.  I served them hot tea.  We had a delightful visit. 

Apart from such a light hearted time of visiting–I’ve had some heavy thinking to do lately.  My surgeon wants me to consider having my well breast taken off.  My oldest daughter Sandy has invited me to tag along with her as she is getting consultation from a doctor of genetics in Nashville on Tuesday.  I’ve spent so much time  talking about my cancer in my blogs–I’ve not wanted to discuss it lately.  I must live in the moment –yet I must not be in denial.  I’ll be writing about the advice this doctor gives to Sandy and me.

This all brings me to problem solving.  The Road Less Traveled, by M. Scott Peck, M.d., is a resource that I’ve read throughout different times in my life.  He begins his book by stating that life is always difficult.  All through the first section, he talks about the need to be responsible, to solve problems and to enlarge the maps of our lives.  Thinking clearly, not making hasty decisions and having consideration for the other people in our lives–all make for more responsible living. 

Dr. Peck takes a little time to describe the neurotic person and the character disordered person.  Many times the neurotic person feels the guilt but often is pulled into a situation where they  are overly dependent on others.  This person gets involved in other people’s lives because of guilt.  This becomes what we call a co-dependent person.  The character disordered person almost never thinks of other people. This person make decisions based on what pleases him/her at any given moment. No one is perfect and at times we all have struggles in either area.  However, the healthy person strives to not be a slave to either disorder. 

When I was a student at Austin Peay State University a few years ago studying music–I also took a senior level course in Epistemology( the study of the orgin and limits of knowledge).  Although, I don’t agree with many of the major philosophies in that course that I had to study–I did learn to think more critically.  It has greatly aided me in many areas of problem solving.  I have learned to think from many different angles–before making any major decision.  I make a list of the positives and negatives I can forsee while I’m working on my decision making. 

Scripture is also important to me in my daily living.  I’ve been particularly drawn to the book of James in the New Testament this week.  James talks much about controling our tongues.  He writes that horses are controlled by bridles and large ships are controlled by a very small rudder–yet the human tongue is not so easily controlled.  In the past, I would have tried to make an argument against my friend to all her know her.  It is going to be hard–but I’m determined not to try to persuade others to be against  this friend . Pray for me that I can just keep my mouth shut. 

Yes, we live only one moment in time but in those moments we must be honest, face our problems and think of what is best for not only ourselves–but for all  who are involved in our lives.  Won’t you join me on my quest?

God bless each of you! 

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7 responses

27 01 2008
nichole3

Once again, my Dear, thanks for sharing your life, that others may be helped along the way, as others have shared and you have been helped along the way. Please keep it up. Herman

27 01 2008
shadowlands1501

NIchole3 I too have read and re read Scott Peck’s the Road Less Traveled. I take it out from time to time in the course of living. Next to the Bible, this book has influenced my life in extraordinary ways. Glad I discovered your blog. I will be coming back and reading more about your adventures.

27 01 2008
Brent WC

James is truly a book full of the convicting power of the Holy Spirit.

That tongue thing has been a life long problem for me, and my swearing with anger.

I learned that Harlan Sanders had a similar problem which he never could overcome although he had Christian character in many other areas of his life.

If it was the only thorn in the flesh I dealt with, I would feel better about things, but I guess I just have multi-faceted weaknesses which I probably will never conquer in my mortal body.

I am now worried anew about your condition, Nichole. I’d told myself that the worse was behind you, and I’m distressed that you may be looking at further radical solutions. Please know you are in my silent prayers.

27 01 2008
nichole3

It is not having a weakness that bothers me. It is when one doesn’t care or justifies not working on it–that I get bothered. My friend didn’t seem to want to work on her problems. Of course, we all have weakness in our lives. So keep plugging along with working on your anger.

I don’t have cancer in my other breast. The family history is so thick–that is why my surgeon wants me to think about taking the other breast off. Just pray that I make the right decision. Believe me–I’m going to take my time. I’m also in a cancer support group now that can give me some feed back. Thanks again for writing a comment.

love,
Sis

27 01 2008
nichole3

Dear Shadowlands,
I’m really glad you wrote a comment. I looked up your blog and desk topped it on my computer. I’m looking forward to getting to know you through your blog. I’ve been gone all day today. Sorry I’m so late in getting to you. Thanks again!

Nichole

28 01 2008
shadowlands1501

Nichole3, thanks for dropping by my blog. I am amazed at this cyber world and how people find each other. I understand your frutration with your friend. I have a few people who come to mind that do not care about how much their words can rip skin off of a soul. They just matter of factly state that is just the way that they are and everyone else has to take the pain..What do you do when someone is so careless with words?

28 01 2008
nichole3

Dear Shadow Land,
I think we just have to kindly let them know how we feel. It certainly isn’t easy. In the past, I’ve not always been so graceful with my replies. I’m working on trying to let people know their behavior is unacceptable without doing more damage. For this friend that I wrote about–I’m just not contacting her right now. Sooner or later, she will ask me why. That will be the test–I pray that I can be kind but to the point.

Nichole

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